Y’all, the biggest day of your life gives you means to freak out, right? But what if I told you that all that freaking out really only hurts yourself? That when you get angry, scream, pull your hair out, or think of everything that could go wrong, you’re the one who is ultimately negatively affected? So when should you absolutely not let those little voices in your head get the best of you?On your wedding day of course! Yes, you’re planning the biggest party that you’ll probably ever plan. Yes, a ton of people are coming to see lil ole you. Yes, you’ve probably spent a loooot of money on things that suddenly matter like chairs or table cloths. So your wedding DJ plays the wrong song…go with it. A guest can’t make it because of weather, woooo-saaah. The table cloth has frills and that’s not how you remembered them? Frills? Yay! I had a guest list of 700 people (no, that’s NOT a typo) and I managed to really enjoy my big day, so I want to give you all some advice so you future brides can too!

1. Decide your attitude BEFORE the day comes.- Just like most brides, I felt anxious! I wanted it all to hurry up and get here and was stressed from the planning, the guest count, and things that were not in my control.  However,  I knew that this was going to be a day I’d remember forever, and I wanted those lifelong memories to be ones I wanted to reflect on. I literally thought of some of the worst things that could go wrong, and decided if they do, I’d smile, shrug my shoulders, and keep it movin’. It’s important that you know that as the bride, you somewhat control the audience. If you’re having a good time, your guests are more likely to have a good time too. If you’re complaining about the cake not being moist, guess what your guests will remember about your wedding? Girl that cake was DRY! Okay but seriously, hopefully cake is not THAT serious but remember you are in control of your attitude and your perspective. Choose how your day will go BEFORE the hectic fun happens! You’ll only get this day once and you don’t want little things that aren’t that important to control it. Remember why you’re there, and that’s for your significant other!

2. Enjoy each moment: I know this sounds obvious but it’s critical. This one day is so important to you and your spouse. Add in small touches to make it more memorable like gifts to each other or your family members. Write notes to each other or your own vows. Add in little things that show your significant other how special they are to you. Your day is going to go by faster than Twista rapping in 2000s, so slow down and make sure to be present in each moment.

3. Have a team that you trust. Photographers, videographers, hair stylists,  OH MY! There are so many people that you will hire and it’s important that you choose the right people. If you have friends who are already married, get recommendations! If you don’t, reviews are your best friend. Use websites like The Knot or Wedding Wire to help you find vendors in your area, but also look them up on Google to read their reviews. I noticed that often I would find vendors on The Knot but find way more reviews on Google. Be sure that they do quality work, they’re PUNCTUAL, and you have a good relationship with them. If you trust your team, they take a huge load of stress off of you!

4. Allow yourself a break!: A week before the wedding, I told myself I was going to stop thinking about wedding planning. Did it work, not completely, but the effort alone made quite a difference. When I started thinking about things I had already created a plan for, instead of looking back at my plan to “double check” I turned on Netflix and let it go. I scheduled a massage the Saturday before my wedding and made sure I drank lots of water and got tons of Vitamin C in my system. When I started to overthink, I made lists of things I was grateful for and listed out why I was afraid, what I could do, and how to best handle the situation. I read my Bible, talked to my then fiancé, and would always feel so lucky afterwards. Honestly, I wish I would have started pre-wedding self care months in advance. And self care does not have to cost you a bazillion dollars. This could just be a face mask or uninterrupted time with your dog. What works for you, WORKS FOR YOU! Remember, your big day is about celebrating your love for each other not the chairs, the tablecloths, or even the guests. Be happy and make it the day you and your spouse always want to remember.